Born into the matrix

Elephant riding is unnatural. They’re wild, strong and they definitely do not want to be ridden by humans. A human body could be instantly crushed under their immense strength. How, then, are we able to tame such a beast to be a human’s fun ride? Training such an elephant is not a small nor a bloodless feat. You must start when they’re really young. The calves are separated from their mothers and taught pain. Using their young vulnerability to teach them fear of humans is the first step. They are often tied between trees and trained to fear the whip. They must be raised to fear and obey. With each day the calf no longer understands who he is nor where he came from. The nature-given instincts to survive is ripped away. He’s an elephant tied to a small tree now, oblivious to the fact that even the smallest pull of his body would rip it clean from its roots.  

This is the type of brainwashed reality that women are born into. A warped world with severely unnatural ideas ingrained into us from the point of birth. It takes years of harsh learning to even begin to understand the truth of the reality around us; years that we never get back. Then the retrospection, self-searching and the phases of healing begins. I wish with all my heart that the next generation doesn’t have to wait long into their 20’s and 30’s to gain true freedom from a world that tries to tear us down at every turn. I find the recurring women’s march picket slogan “Women’s rights are human rights” both amusing and simultaneously insulting. How dare the world ask women to defend our humanity. We are the most basic human building block. From our very wombs, comes the life of both women and men. It’s a preposterous idea that the creators of human beings should have to defend their belonging to the human race. 

This latest two centuries or so has seen women fight and win for their basic human rights to survive on their own terms. Too often we forget that despite our current circumstances, the freedoms we are granted in this age of society was merely a fantasy to women before us. The cruelty and utter absurdity of the reasoning behind women’s forced subservience in the patriarchy must be explored for us to first understand and then, defeat what lies at the core of women’s societal chains. Domestic violence and forced sexual encounters are only symptoms of the problem; but they are not found at the core of where we are in society. The answer lies deeper than you might have imagined. The patriarchy is far more vindictive and deeply implemented than you can begin to realise. Ever since women have been forcefully and strategically excluded from every major decision-making environment, men before us have been busy in the background and the media ensuring that we never regain our self worth to even begin questioning their forced leadership. Men have built the foundations of modern civilisation entirely without us. Firstly, let’s acknowledge that. You can also breathe easily knowing that women, as a whole, cannot be directly involved in the blame for the extinction of innumerable species, neither the pollution found everywhere, nor the rapid changing of our climate causing the inevitable destruction of our planet. During the times of these major infrastructure decisions, women weren’t legally allowed to have voting rights let alone participate in scientific or technological leadership discussions. Tertiary education was denied to women as well. Those who impacted society were women who fought at all odds to work, and sometimes secretly, as inventors. We weren’t allowed to participate in the governance of any country. Most of the ideals, infrastructure, and systems in place today had little to no input from the very source of human life, women. I am entirely convinced that had women been even partially incorporated into leadership, our Earth would have never reached the stage of destruction we see all around us.

In the light of the recent “Black Lives Matter” events, I’ve been digging a bit deeper into understanding the profound impacts that the main two “isms” have on us as human beings. The parallels that can be seen between the two are incredibly similar. Jane Elliot, a famous educator, does a number of questionably cruel but rather educational exercises with groups of human subjects to indicate the mental impact that racism has on people. In one of her famous exercises, she separates a group of children using the features of blue eyes and brown eyes. She proclaims the brown-eyed group to be the “superior” group whose members are cleaner, smarter and more talented. She treated the brown-eyed group as special by giving them extra recess time, priority seating, kind words, and belief in their personal value. As she then went on to criticise the blue-eyed group of the opposite, they quickly fell into the role of subordinates. Shockingly, the brown-eyed group began wielding their dominance toward the ‘blueys’. A few days later she switched the roles of the groups only to discover the same pattern. Her lessons are indicative that racism is taught and enforced by society; it is neither natural nor logical. Yes, there were many angry parent responses; one of which was printed in a 2005 article :“How dare you try this cruel experiment out on white children,” one said. “Black children grow up accustomed to such behavior, but white children, there’s no way they could possibly understand it. It’s cruel to white children and will cause them great psychological damage.” When faced with this criticism, Jane Elliot’s response is, “You think that’s traumatizing? Try living that way for a lifetime.” There’s something about the projected image of black and white that doesn’t quite sit right with me. They’re such polar opposites. But white people aren’t actually white and neither are black people the colour black. And then where do us, as brown people fit into this conversation? Melanin is present in all human beings to protect skin cells from harmful UV rays; and the lack of which is classified as a pigment disorder. Human skin colour ranges from pale pinks/yellows to dark browns depending on both inherited melanin at birth and exposure to the sun which stimulates the further production of melanin. Races are not opposites but rather on an entire melanin spectrum that’s meant to be appreciated as a clear indication of the brilliance of human evolution to adapt our bodies to the surrounding environment. The naming of groups with words and connotations considered opposite is damaging rhetoric in itself. “Boys are from Mars, and girls are from Venus…” was a ‘cute’ song we all sang as children. We need to rethink how damaging it is to drive differences that are incorrectly polar opposites between genders of the same species. Society dictates that everything male humans and female humans do must be opposites. Boys wear short hair. Girls wear long hair. Boys wear pants. Girls wear dresses. Boys like blue. Girls like pink. Boys play outside. Girls play inside. Boys have cars. Girls have dolls and babies. Girls cry. Boys don’t. The list is exhaustively endless. What’s considered natural isn’t proven by nature but rather dictated to us by traditionally held “beliefs” that often have no logical reason behind them. Lets take the long hair, short hair designation for example. A male child’s hair doesn’t just stop growing once it’s reached the designated “boy’s haircut” but rather must be cut by another human to conform to this standard. If left to their own devices, hair grows as human hair wants; irrelevant of gender. Human beings made up that long hair, short hair rule. Same for clothing decisions. Biologically speaking, in terms of body structure, dresses actually suit men better than women. Pants are more logical for women since we lack the external reproductive organs. So many of these ideas that we take for granted to be true are merely unquestioned, nonsensical traditions, many of which stem from horribly sexist times. 

Nature is the most powerful force known. We formulate laws to describe it; but never get anywhere close to understanding it. We often marvel at nature, not realising that we are one of its creations. The human brain is the inspiration for computers because of the manner in which it functions. The brain is a powerful, self-customized processor. It has many inputs; most of which comes from our senses. From young, we drink in the world, soaking up as much information as possible. From the combination of our nature-given abilities and our physical observations and experiences in the world we subconsciously program our brain to analyse information and react consequently. This is the part where I genuinely find religion to be extremely dangerous to the mind.The origin of where we actually come from is very critical in how we see the world and ourselves. I fundamentally disagree with religion, particularly the majority held ones stemming from Abrahamic beliefs. This set of beliefs are on a wildly varying scale; from hardcore fundamentalists to apologists to modern day cherry-pickers. Whichever way you look at the belief system, it is rooted in the Garden of Eden creation story which stipulates a “divine” designation of women’s submission to men. This is indicative in the myth that men are the original human beings and women were somehow created from the rib of a man for the purpose of being a mere helper to men. This story is still held as truth to a shockingly large number of human beings even in modern day civilisation regardless of every piece of evidence pointing to the opposite. Its appalling to me to know that there are numerous men of the nauseatingly pretentious belief that their rib has magically created a woman out there just for them. “One of the greatest lies of the patriarchy is framing the father as the life-giver.” Nizar Qabbani, a famous Arabian poet, himself said “Woman does not emerge from a man’s rib’s, not ever, it’s he who emerges from her womb.” It’s so strange that this truth is somehow a radical fact to bring up in the discussion of feminism because of its religious implications. Those who question religious beliefs are persecuted to a ridiculous degree, even up to being disowned by families. I’ve met so many people who secretly don’t believe in any religion. Admitting to being a nonbeliever is unfortunately similar to the experience of coming out as gay. I do not believe in converting people from religion because everyone has a right to their personal beliefs. I strongly abide by that. My problem with religion comes in when it uses mythology to justify discrimination against women and other demographics. “You can believe in a rock for all I care. Just don’t throw it at me.

Religion seems to really have a problem with women and freedom. I’ve been asked several times about what made me “atheist” and truly, amusement aside, it was the Bible itself. I read it twice, studied it once and can quote scripture like a good Sunday school student. Not a single book in the Bible has been written or even had input from a woman. I need to write an entirely separate piece on my analysis. I try to avoid this topic as often as I can to minimise people feeling attacked by my writing as I primarily write to encourage positive energy and kindness; but honestly, it is a topic that must be had. If I have to admit the other main reason, it’s really because writing about religion triggers so much indignation and anger at the use of these belief systems to perpetuate the subjugation of women in society both in past and present. If you are taught that your very Creator intended for you to be at the mercy of men and their leadership, compliance is almost guaranteed. My point is that a vast number of girls are indoctrinated into religion from a young age and are taught ideas that are harmful to their basic humanity and the most fundamental human right that we are all born equal. 

Even without religion, this idea that women are born to submit and serve is shared by almost all communities led by men as men often cater to their own desires at the detriment of women. Boys are raised to be wild and adventurous and their misbehaviour is justified by the majority of society as their nature. “Boys will be boys”. However, there is an endless list of what a “young lady” shouldn’t do or behave like. From childhood we are shown that being a boy comes with freedom and being a girl comes with many restrictions. Girls are told “no” on such a regular basis that eventually most of us stop asking. Toys are incredibly sexist even to this day. The colour pink represents being soft and sweet. This is the limitation of a girl. Being loud, outspoken, athletic and/or driven as a girl is seen as “tomboyish” because all the good stuff is reserved for boys. We’re left to be conditioned to clean, cook and push out babies. It’s clear in our toys that we’re brainwashed into these roles whether or not we desire that for ourselves. “A child who’s told she has to do more housework than her brother because she’s a girl, or that she can’t be an astronaut when she grows up because she’s a girl, is likely to say “that’s not fair!” A boy who is told he cannot play with dolls because he’s a boy, or that he cannot be a secretary when he grows up, may find that unfair as well. But the boy who is told he can’t be a nurse is being told that he is too good to be a nurse. The girl, on the other hand, is essentially being told that she is not good enough to be a doctor.” – Eckert and Ginet, Language and Gender. This propaganda that girls are not good enough is constantly reinforced wherever we go. We’re told and shown, be it directly or inferred, where our “place” starts and ends. Too many places are defined as “no place for a lady”. Where are we supposed to go instead? The restrictions often corner us into one place only: service to men and society often at our detriment. Going back to Jane Elliot’s exercise; tell me, class, what happens to a human when they are constantly berated and treated as second class humans? Yes, exactly. The human shrinks into submission and develops negative views of themselves. Let’s bring in trauma now. It starts young. Very young. Little girls are taught that when boys are mean to them, it means that they like them. That teaching needs to stop, like yesterday. It sets the tone for the treatment that girls expect from boys. From my very informal activism activities, I’ve heard firsthand accounts of the kind of experiences little girls deal with. Some are more on the bullying side while others are plain criminal behaviour. I came across a mother with a four and a half year old who was sexually assaulted by three boys in her own age group! The mother found out because the girl was swollen and in pain. The details of what they did are quite horrible. I so desperately want to investigate who or what taught these 4-5 year old boys to be so cruel to the little girl. The treatment of girls by society is not missed by boys. They notice their preferential treatment just like the brown-eyed children in the exercise. They learn from the men in their lives and their surroundings how girls are treated and often mimic this belief in male dominance from childhood. These boys seldom face any disciplinary action; they’d get a rare scolding at the very most. So they never learn and their behaviour progresses into the misogynistic kind. Society often sees boys as potential assets to the human race; no one wants to “ruin” their dreams or aspirations especially because of girls, who are seen as disposable.

“You run like a girl.”

“He’s crying like a little girl.”

This rhetoric is found in all ages. “What’s the worst possible thing you can call a woman? Don’t hold back now. You’re probably thinking of words like slut, whore, bitch, cunt (I told you not to hold back!), skank. Okay, now, what are the worst things you can call a guy? Fag, girl, bitch, pussy. I’ve even heard the term “mangina.” Notice anything? The worst thing you can call a girl is a girl. The worst thing you can call a guy is a girl. Being a woman is the ultimate insult. Now tell me that’s not royally fucked up.” – Jessica Valenti. 

Period shame for young girls is overwhelming. We’re made to be ashamed, do what we have to in secret, never let anyone know when you’re menstruating, hide all period products from sight and so on. When I was in school, they’d separate the girls and boys to teach reproductive health. I didn’t know that during these sessions, boys weren’t being taught anything but this was rather a play session. Boys more often than not, grow into men without basic education about menstruation, pregnancy or childbirth unless they opted to learn biology later on in life. As men, they don’t want to hear about it because it makes them uncomfortable and they don’t have to go through it, so why learn. This is so damaging to our society. Men do not respect the process that makes their very life possible. Yes, it is part of your life no matter your opinion; it’s your literal origin story. Women’s pain is regularly overlooked and undermined because pain is regarded as a natural part of our lives; we should just deal with it. In fact, when anaesthesia/painkillers were introduced there was an outcry about the morality of allowing women to take them during childbirth largely because it “went against the will of god.” Women should not escape the divine curse of god from the Garden of Eden. Genesis 3: 16 – To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” You see, once again religion cannot be separated from some of the root causes of the inhumane treatment and oppression of women. Men’s rule over women or “leadership”, however you choose to dress it up, is painted as natural since they were hunters/providers before civilisation. I’d like to first point out that hunting is a task; not necessarily leadership. It’s not indicative of being the leader at all. Regardless, we live in a civilisation now. There is no hunting for survival; that has long ended. Leadership qualities are not masculine and have never been. It’s intelligence that matters and provides merit for this task. Jordan Peterson offers “wisdom” on the topic of inequality saying “the left, he believes, refuses to admit that men might be in charge because they are better at it. “The people who hold that our culture is an oppressive patriarchy, they don’t want to admit that the current hierarchy might be predicated on competence,” he said. This is one of the dumbest arguments I have heard. Reality itself provides evidence against this. The current hierarchy was founded on the violent oppression that men have been holding women under for centuries. Women were given no right to vote for a government they believed in, denied access to education, forced into childbirth, raped and blamed for it, beaten and blamed for it, the list is endless and filled with horror stories of inhumane treatment. The very fact that women have been fighting this treatment often with their lives on the line show that none of this is natural. Is this society in front of us an indication of the “competence” of men? This civilisation that a male-only approach created is absolute garbage, in my view. It’s neither sustainable nor does it comply with the natural order. Men use violence and the threat of violence to keep women in line with their wishes. That is not natural. I have not yet met a sane woman who genuinely believes that she is inferior without societal brainwashing. Because we are not. We are actually blessed by nature with perspective thinking and a natural intuition at life. Life should actually not be this difficult and I don’t believe it would have ever gotten to this stage, had women been integrated into decision making.

Human beings are a community. A human on it’s own is food for all. We cannot run faster, see better or hunt like other animals. We cannot survive without each other. I don’t necessarily see “love” as a mystical force; rather one that is imperative for our survival as a species. With greater intelligence comes greater amounts of empathy and other emotions. Human beings are all about emotions, whether you choose to accept that or not. It’s our real language. We speak in energy and emotions. We call those who make us feel good: friends. We share various emotional bonds with other people and even other species. I believe that the ability to empathise and have compassion is a critically necessary feature for the most advanced species on the planet. It enables us to sustain the earth; not just for ourselves, but for the greater good of the planet. No intelligent species would ever destroy it’s own life force and habitat; yet human beings are doing just that. We have become a disease on the face of the planet; consuming and harming life everywhere else. This is what the patriarchy has produced. If you remove the most empathetic, compassionate, thinking source of human life from the decision-making that creates and rules civilisation; this is the society that results. Men themselves aren’t generally happy with this world, even though everything we have has been structured to give them immense upper hands and privileges over women. Suicide among men is a massive problem, and the weirdest part is that an oddly substantial amount of people blame women’s equality for this. Men don’t want to acknowledge that the patriarchy is what shortens their lifespan and drives them to commit suicide. If you are a human you cannot escape your emotions. The only emotional channel the patriarchy allows men is anger and aggression. Men aren’t angry often; they’re hurt, sad and suffering internally but the only socially acceptable outlet of expression is negative emotions. Depression and anxiety are overtaking us. I do not believe that anything was ever meant to be this way, neither was life ever supposed to be this difficult. We have forgotten who and what we are. We have thrown away everything natural and we live in a society that teaches us to ignore all our human instincts. 

History books have been written to align itself with women’s eventual brainwashing. Powerful women before us have been strategically excluded from the education system. It aligns well with “you can’t be what you can’t see.” Those who ruled are historically recorded as incompetent tyrants. A prime example is Wu Zetian, the Empress of China. The truth surrounding her unfair demonisation was uncovered. She was an extraordinarily powerful human being and an incredibly intelligent diplomat that brought great prosperity to the nation. She also brought a historic period of equality between men and women that was violently ended upon the end of her reign. I’m including a link to the YouTube video that fascinated me enough to research her. There are many figures like her written out of history books. The accomplishments of women, particularly in STEM fields, have been strategically excluded from fame to deter women from having role models in these fields and being encouraged to enter. Yet the concept of frequency hopping in radio signals that led to the development of Bluetooth, WiFi and all communication systems that depend on it was invented by Hedy Lamarr. She is mostly recognised for her beauty and her acting career rather than the inventor she actually was. The code used to get the first humans on the moon was hand written by Margaret Hamilton, the very first software engineer, for Apollo 11, often in sessions while her four year old child slept in the room she worked. Coding was actually originally regarded as a woman’s job but once it’s importance was recognised, women were pushed out. Female writers, athletes, scientists, leaders, freedom fighters, activists, artists are largely excluded from the education system. Why are men so obsessed with excluding us without even an opportunity to see our capabilities? Because they already know that we can but they are so desperate to keep us out and make us feel small when we are not. We have the power to give life, to invent, to build, to fight and so on. Women can do everything men can do. But men cannot do what we can. I strongly believe that men are afraid of us and our nature-given power and won’t admit it. Nature itself handed the role of controlling the population to women alone. But men steal our power by using the only upper hand they’ve ever naturally had over us: brute strength. When a human constantly tries to convince you that “you can’t” and/or excludes you with the claim that you aren’t capable, understand that it is because you can and they are scared that you can. Otherwise they would have never stopped you from trying. Gaining that opportunity and failing would close the case and prove them right.

I know society wants me to stay in the matrix the patriarchy designed for women. You want me to need your roles for survival and happiness. And now that I’ve realised I don’t, I will never keep quiet about this. 

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